Antigua
I went to Antigua thinking about leadership.
I left thinking about permission.
There is a particular kind of exhaustion that comes from being the person who can handle things.
You become dependable. Capable. Resourceful. The person others call. The person who finds the answer, carries the responsibility, solves the problem, and keeps moving.
And eventually, competence can become its own kind of captivity.
Because when you are capable of carrying almost anything, you have to become intentional about deciding what you should carry.
Antigua reminded me that leadership is not simply about developing the capacity to carry more.
Sometimes it is about developing the wisdom to carry differently.
We can become so accustomed to effort that we begin to equate struggle with progress.
But the sea teaches something different.
There are moments to push. Moments to pivot. Moments to release. And moments to recognize that the current can carry something we have been exhausting ourselves trying to move.
Strength is knowing what you can carry. Wisdom is knowing what you no longer should.
I watched the seagulls following our boat.
They weren't flying in formation. Some moved ahead. Some stayed at the periphery. Some moved quickly toward opportunity while others waited.
Different positions. Different rhythms. Different approaches.
But they remained oriented in the same direction.
It made me think differently about the people we lead, the communities we build, and even the people we choose to walk beside.
We do not need everyone in the same position. We need people aligned around the same purpose.
Perhaps this was Antigua's greatest reminder.
We are so conditioned to fill space that we can become uncomfortable when nothing appears to be happening.
But space is where we notice. Where we discern. Where we breathe. Where conversations go somewhere we didn't plan. Where ideas find us. Where we remember what we already knew before the noise became louder than our own wisdom.
A culture of care requires that kind of space. Not only for the people we serve, but for those doing the serving.
Sometimes the answer doesn't need more effort. It needs somewhere to land.
That may be what I am carrying forward most.
I am becoming less interested in creating experiences that simply leave people impressed.
I want to create experiences that leave people clearer.
Not more overwhelmed with information. Not carrying another list of things to accomplish. But more discerning about what deserves their energy, what can be released, who belongs beside them, and what comes next.
Lessons from the Orchard taught me to pay attention to what I was cultivating.
Lessons from the Sea taught me to pay attention to what I could finally release.
And somewhere between the two is the kind of leadership I want to keep exploring:
Rooted enough to know what matters.
Wise enough to recognize the current.
Secure enough to let others occupy their own position.
And spacious enough to hear what comes next.
— Dr. Kiplee Bell, MD, MS, PA-C
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